My therapist said that I should keep a journal and I thought to myself...a WHAT?! Journals are for friggin' sissies. For people with no lives who want to write about their non-life as if it would help them look at themselves and find out what is wrong. I'll tell you what is wrong. Go out and find yourself. Screw them all. But, I have to follow this nutcase no matter what. My job, you see, depends on it. My boss told me that without this "therapy" I should not come back to work next year. Well, I said to him...fine...damn...I love my job.
Anyway, so the shrink wants me to elaborate on my everyday life in this...journal...
What will I talk about? He says I can say anything I want. Well, if I can say anything, and I mean anything, then he won't mind me saying that this is a crapload of $#!$.
That about wraps up today's &^%G!^& entry in this...journal...arghh...

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Cluck Cluck...
Did you see it cross the road?
I have often wondered why people always ask why the chicken crossed the road when they obviously did not see any chickens do any such thing. Are chickens really that smart? Is all that random clucking a sign of intelligence? There must be research out there that supports or refutes the "smarts" of a chicken. I mean, come on, it is not as if those birds do anything buy bob their heads, eat the seeds, and lay eggs.
Speaking of eggs, those darn people who tell us we have to have four a week or three a week or no more than six a week are wak. I mean, really. The world has various sizes of eggs. How can we tell what is the right size of egg that can be counted for those three of four a week. Are we talking about large ostrich eggs? Or tiny Quail ones? Really, they don't specify. Thus, in my eyes, that institution known as the FDA needs to really rethink some of their strategies. So many drugs, so little time to look at them all. By the time they get done, we'll all have died of some random disease that we probably had a cure for because some scientist discovered it and wanted to cure everyone, but they needed to pass it through all the red tape first. If only there was a way to test them faster. Don't get me wrong, I think that being careful is a great thing...we don't want to expire from something we just randomly cook up...DO WE? Well, maybe some of us will take the challenge/risk, but I myself am too much of a coward for that kind of challenge. You could spew up blood or erupt in flatulance or grow some random body part. Really, do you think you want that to happen? I do not THINK so!

Obviously, you have not read the actual reports on all these "facts" you so readily disclaim. Seek some therapy!

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